Welcome to another Wednesday Debt Discussion! If you’re new around here, you might want to take a peek at what we’ve been discussing lately.
Now that we’ve decided to be open about debt, made sure we aren’t adding to our debt, set a debt-free date along with some smaller goals, budgeted and made sacrifices to help us achieve our goals, and decided on a way to track our debt pay-off, we need to be held accountable.
When you have a goal, whether it’s to lose weight, train for a marathon or get out of debt, you will be much more successful if you are accountable to someone besides yourself. You need an accountability partner. An accountability partner is a cheerleader and a coach. While accountability partners will cheer your successes, they also need to know your goals and hold you to them. They need to take the initiative to check up on you, not just wait for you to go to them.
Choose your accountability partner carefully. Choose someone who you can trust with your goals and financial details. Find someone who is like-minded and wise. Ask someone who you respect, who you won’t want to disappoint.
You already have people or institutions that you are naturally accountable to. You may want to choose one of them to be your accountability partner. If not, we will discuss some other options.
Let’s talk first about who you are naturally accountable to.
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Your Lender
Obviously you are accountable to your lender for what you owe, whether it’s invisible Sallie Mae or a close relative. The feeling of accountability widely varies, from those who avoid the lender in hopes that the debt will disappear to those who pay in full without fail.
For those who regularly use credit cards but do not have consumer debt, the accountability felt toward your lender may be all you need to stay out of debt. If you have debt and a goal to get out of debt, you will need another form of accountability besides your monthly statements from your lender.
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Your Investors
You may not think you have investors besides the one who loaned you money in the first place, but you very well may. Is there someone else involved in your debt and debt repayment? Is someone else invested in your goal to be debt-free?
For us, it’s my husband’s parents. They currently let us live in their basement rent-free. They are generously offering these accommodations so that we can get out of debt faster. While they never ask for financial details and we usually don’t offer them, we still feel accountable to them. We don’t want to waste this great opportunity to turn our finances around. Being responsible with our finances is a way that we show our gratitude for their generosity and sacrifice.
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Your Family
If you have a spouse or children, it is natural to feel accountable to them for your financial choices. Healthy family relationships require open communication and a feeling unity. Feeling accountable to your family is powerful. I can’t think of a better motivator to get your finances in order than to provide for your family.
It’s not a secret that financial problems in marriage can put serious strains on relationships. Pushing away the natural feelings of being accountable to your family leads to selfishness and greed. Lack of communication about finances will lead to secrecy and dishonesty.
Do whatever you can to open the lines of communication in your family. Spouses can make wonderful accountability partners.
Would any of these people make a good accountability partner? If none of the people who you are naturally accountable to will work as an accountability partner, you can create other forms of accountability.
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Another Person
In some cases, you may want to pull in someone else to be your accountability partner. If you aren’t married, you could choose a good friend, co-worker, or family member.
Even if your spouse is your main accountability partner, you could also ask a friend to help you with a specific aspect of your goal, such as not eating out, or not buying new clothes. If you and your spouse have the same financial weaknesses, it might be useful to have another person be an accountability partner for the two of you together.
When choosing someone who you aren’t naturally accountable to, be sure to let them know what you would like them to do, otherwise they may feel they are overstepping their bounds.
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Go Public
If you don’t mind having others judge you, you can go a little more public with your goals. You could post your goals and progress on social media or on your blog. Be sure to be honest and share both successes and struggles.
For some people, sharing personal finances and goals publicly will be motivating and just the pressure they need. For others, it won’t work well and is not a substitute for a personal coach and cheerleader. Do whatever fits your personality and needs best. If you are married, be sure to talk with your spouse before sharing personal financial details with the world!
It’s Your Turn!
- Who is your accountability partner?
- How has accountability helped you reach your goals?
- What other forms of accountability have worked well for you?
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer says
Great post, Stephanie. I would say my family is my biggest accountability partner, as we are all so determined to get rid of the debt. I’m finding these days though that there just is not much temptation to stray from the budget. Our motivation is super high, as we are all so sick and tired of being servants to our lenders, you know?
Stephanie says
That is so wonderful that your whole family is on board! I know it is a struggle for some couple and families who have different ideas and levels of motivation. Keep it up Laurie! You are going to make great progress!
celeste says
My husband has become a really great accountability partner but he can also be the spender. I started blogging about our finances to get more accountability and pressure to stay on track.
Stephanie says
It’s amazing how much accountability blogging gives. Even though I have never met my readers in person, I feel accountable and am motivated to do my best. Of course, it’s not my number one reason, but it contributes to the motivation to do my best with our finances.
Emmy says
Definitely my husband, thankfully he is really good with money and tracks it to the penny, but he is sometimes a little too nice about “forgiving me” when I go over my budget and fixes it a few too many times.. it is my goal this year to not make him have to fix it for me and really start saving
Stephanie says
That’s awesome that your husband is so involved and so forgiving. I guess it’s better to err on the side of being too nice, than being too mean, right? 🙂
CeCee says
My husband is definitely my accountability partner, but I am100% open about my finances. Several of my friends and co-workers know where we stand. When we first started paying off debt we would turn down offers from friends to do things even though we “had the money”. We lost several friends that way, but it was worth it. I like being surrounded by people who understand that we are working on being in the best financial position possible.
Also this year our goal is to pay off the last of my hubs student loans –officially under $10,000!! I have been posting my payments on Facebook and get likes and comments from friends. We are at the age where many are just starting to think about paying on loans let alone paying them off. So many people ask us how we do it. We live like no one else so we can live like no one else 🙂
Stephanie says
That’s great that you are so open about finances CeCee. I’m sure it encourages more people than you realize. That’s really sad that you lost friends, but it sounds like the ones you kept are great.
Awesome job on your loans! That’s so exciting to be so close! Keep it up 🙂