I received an email from a reader this week who after 3 months of intense debt payoff is facing some debt fatigue. She and her husband have made great progress and only have about 8 months to go, but are still struggling to stay positive.
Here’s her question:
After your first year when you paid so much on your debt, did you ever feel like you were in a rut or a funk? What do you focus on to get out of it? I’ve been trying to focus on what we’ve accomplished so far and what our goals are, and even telling myself that our situation is lucky but I still just have this negative attitude that I can’t shake. It’s bugging me because I’m normally an optimist and go-getter but the debt-battle blues are really getting me down.
If you haven’t faced the “debt-battle blues” yet, chances are good that you will at some point in your journey. For me, the first step to getting out of a funk is figuring out how you got there in the first place. Some common causes of debt funk are:
- Making too many lifestyle changes at once
- Being tempted by your old lifestyle
- Not making the progress you had hoped
- Not seeing the big picture
- Having a goal that feels too far away
Funk Fighters
- Be realistic-– I have tried not to compare the $36K that we paid toward debt in 2013, with the total we’ve paid in 2014. See– I’m not even going to add it up right now! We knew that emptying out all of our other savings would make a bigger dent than we would be able to make in subsequent years (until we have some serious increases in income), so we don’t make ourselves sad by comparing.
- Relax your rules a little— Don’t break the budget or get any crazy new habits, but giving yourself a little wiggle room can make a big difference. For example, I told my husband to stop by the store and pick up some bread on the way home from work. We have been baking our own bread since we started our debt payback adventure, but for the past week I have resorted to putting PBJ tortillas in my kids lunches because I have been too exhausted to make bread lately. We have something like $80 left in our food budget for the month that ends in less than a week. My health and sanity right now are worth the price of a few loaves of bread.
- Track your progress— It could be a fancy net worth spreadsheet that helps you track your progress or a giant thermometer on the fridge that you color in red as the principal decreases. Having a visual representation of your progress can help you stay motivated.
- Set smaller goals— You probably already have a debt-free date that you’re working toward, but if you’re fighting big numbers like us, that date may be pretty far away. Setting smaller goals helps you stay focused and gives you chances to feel success more often.
- Find something to celebrate— Celebrating the achievement of smaller goals helps you stay on track by rewarding your progress. Celebrations shouldn’t be expensive or elaborate, but should still motivate and excite you. Celebrating your success is especially important if you find yourself a frequent victim of debt fatigue.
- Get an accountability partner-– If you don’t already have someone to encourage you, think of someone who would make a good accountability partner. This may be your spouse who is facing debt with you. The hope is that when you are in a funk, your spouse (or whoever you choose for your accountability partner) will be able to help you see the light, and vice versa.
How about you?
- What have you found to be the root cause of your debt fatigue?
- What to you to get your motivation back when you’re in a funk?
- What advice would you give specifically to this reader who is facing the “debt-battle blues?”
It can be overwhelming, but I find that I look forward to the days when my billing statements come out so I can write down the lower number on my spreadsheet. Seeing the number go down every month truly makes a difference.
The biggest thing for me was giving myself a target – and then having a little splurge when I hit it. So I would take December off completely to rejuvenate myself, and I’d also relax a little in the summer (though not as much as Christmas). That way I knew I was always pretty close to another “target” where upon I could spend a little money on myself. Oddly, I often didn’t actually want to when I gave myself the option – and still often paid off more debt than I had planned in those more relaxed times as a result! I think psychologically though that “breathing room” was important for me.
definitely going through this right now. we’ve paid off about half of our debt, but it’s getting hard to keep plugging away: it feels like we’ll never be done!
i’ve started blogging in hopes of keeping us inspired, and that has helped. it’s also illuminated areas we really shouldn’t be spending so much in…nothing like being held accountable by the whole internet!
thanks for this post! your whole blog is an inspiration.
Blogging has really helped to keep us accountable and motivated! It helps to know that you’re not the only one. Keep it up! Halfway there is a great place to be!
I try hard (although I don’t always succeed) to focus on the journey and not the destination. Reducing our spending has had a lot of good immediate rewards . . . like drinking less beer, eating less unhealthy food at restaurants, and less time at shopping malls (which I don’t like). Also, figuring out solutions to problems and overcoming challenges is pretty cool! Finally, every time we make a big payment, we give each other high fives and dance around the office. That feeling is even better than going out and eating at a fancy restaurant or buying some fancy schmantzy new clothes.
Great point! Figuring out solutions to problems and overcoming challenges can really be satisfying! I’m imagining the dancing around the office and it makes me smile! 🙂
People need to be realistic about how long it takes to pay off debt. You probably spent years getting into debt and it will take longer than that to pay it off. It’s a marathon, not a sprint!
Jay
Yeah. I feel a little silly about it, but I seem to be just stalled out with only a couple of thousand dollars to go, after killing $22K of combined student and credit debt. I’m *so close to the end,* why am I having so much trouble pushing through the rest of it?
I know I’ll get there, both with debt and with the savings I want to build after that, but the pace is frustrating sometimes, for sure.
You’ve come so far and you’re so close Cecilia! Keep pushing through!
Sometimes I get tired of constantly not buying things, and I start to get anxious to go on a shopping trip (shopping is also one of my few kids-free activities during the week). I’ve found that a garage sale shopping spree is just as satisfying as going to a store for a few hours and I spend usually only spend $10 -15.
I totally know what you mean! A garage sale shopping spree is a great alternative to a Target (or mall) shopping spree!
Wow can I really relate to this debt fatigue. We started our “kill the debt” journey 21 months ago. We were all gung-ho on it, but in the first 5 months we were hit with $25K in unexpected expenses – deaths in the family, medical expenses for my wife, son, grand daughter. Had to tap into our ER fund to cover those and keep paying our debts off. Thought it was all for naught ’cause every frickin time we tried to get ahead we got b#### slapped from left field. I was soooooooooooo sick of it until my wife told me to quit focusing on it so much and just keep going on our automatic payment schedule and live life. So we did and we went about our lives working, babysitting for the grand kids, etc. It dawned on me that 5 months later I hadn’t thought about all the setbacks and we had made a lot of progress – stress free. The first 5 months of our journey was when we got slapped with $25K of unexpected expenses. The second 5 months was when we just kept going on automatic payments and not obsessing about our debt pay off. Then we sort of just got into a groove and everything was smooth sailing for awhile (altho we did experience some twinges of “deprivation” and “jealousy”). Now, 21 months into it and 21 more months to go, we’ve been hit with a number of medical expenses again (8 surgeries between me and my wife in the past 11 months – with the necessary recovery time off work so bye-bye vacation time we’d been saving so we could celebrate when this is all behind us) – ugh! BUT (and yes, I do mean that as a HUGE BUT), the previous roller coaster we rode taught us how to ride these things out – and TRUST we’ll be fine. We’re kind of in a bit of a pinch right now (with one more surgery pending in a couple of days) only this time we’re not spazzing. We’re just riding it out and counting our blessings – focusing more on what we have than on what we have got to accomplish. Try putting your debt payoff out of your mind for a few months (just don’t quit making the payments). Paradigm shift! Focus on life, not on your debt. You’ll end up in the same place whether you stress over it or not. Best of luck to all!
Wow Jim! That is a painful load of unexpected expenses that could easily put anyone in a serious funk! I think counting your blessings was definitely the best thing to do. With the auto-payments you still made progress without stressing over your debt. That is a great perspective, one that I hadn’t really thought much about. I hope the future medical expenses are minimal and that the pending surgery goes smoothly! Keep chugging along and trusting that all will be fine.
This is such a great post and a topic not spoken about nearly enough! Love these tips!
Thanks Shannon! It is definitely an important topic for those of us facing big numbers in the debt category.
Similar to commenter above, my husband and I would benchmark certain goals, and celebrate when we reached them. For us instead of dollar amounts it was when a debt was paid off.
I have recently felt very much the same way except in saving mode instead of pay off debt mode. I find my little jealousy bug rearing its ugly head when I see people going on vacations and similar things, and we are still trying to save money for a house. I feel sometimes like the debt ticked down faster than the savings are ticking up!
I just try to remind myself that “We are living like no one else, so later on we can live like no one else”
I’m sorry that your savings journey has been rough. It’s good that you’re able to notice the jealousy bug when it hits and remind yourself that your sacrifices will be worth it!
Thanks for the encouragement. I think that for me one of the greatest gifts is to be able to relax on occasion and be realistic in our goals. I totally agree with your store bread example- have totally “been there”! Keep it up, love your posts.
Thanks Claire. It is nice to relax from your own frugal rules every now and then!
Like you, the biggest cause of our funk is just the shear size of the debt, which makes it hard for small wins along the way. I do think blogging has helped me stay motivated and excited about the possibilities, as well as providing accountability and community.
Blogging has helped me stay accountable and motivated too.
We set small goals leading up to our big goals. We had our first 1,000 we went to a nice dinner, when we hit 5,000 we went to the movies and dinner and when we hit 10,000, we planned a cheap weekend away that included coupons for the dinners and the hotel we stayed at.
Small goals with rewards really do give you something to look forward to!