We’re a pretty frugal family. While the jury is still out on whether it’s “extreme” frugality or not, there’s no denying that we like to save money.
Every time I wash cloth diapers (which is twice a week, in case you’re wondering), I think about all the money we save my using them and it makes me a bit giddy. (Never in a million years did I think I would get joy out of something… like that.)
Some money-saving practices change depending on your season in life (thank goodness!) and others are ingrained in our habits for the long haul (also a good thing). Still there are other money-saving (and money-making) opportunities that I just plain won’t ever embrace.
I imagine the same goes for you.
We want to get out of debt fast, and I hope you do too, but there are some things that are more important than being debt-free or getting some extra cash. No matter how strapped for cash I am or how desperate the times are, there are some things I just won’t ever do, no matter what the pay or savings.
They fall into the following three categories:
Anything illegal
I am not willing to break the law to save money. That includes everything from cheating on taxes to downloading pirated media.
I should also point out that I’m not concerned with enforcement. I realize that there are many ways to make money that, while illegal, aren’t regularly enforced. It’s not a matter of whether or not I’ll get caught. If it’s illegal, I won’t be doing it whether anyone else knows it or not.
Anything unethical or immoral
There are many activities that will make money or save money that are legal, but are still unethical or immoral. I won’t throw out any examples here (I sure don’t want to give anyone bad ideas), but suffice it to say that I don’t choose money-making or money-saving endeavors that go against my conscience.
So, how do you decide if something is unethical or immoral? The number one test for me is asking myself if I feel good about it. When something is shady, bad, or inappropriate, I have a bad or uncomfortable feeling. If you’re used to listening to that feeling, then it’s easy to recognize. If you find yourself trying to justify or talk yourself into something that you feel uneasy about, consider this a red flag.
Another test to know if your money-making or money-saving idea is moral and ethical is the grandma test. Would you be proud to look your grandma in the eye and confidently tell her about your plan? If you could (and you have a sweet, honest grandma), then you’re fine. If you’ve got a shady grandma (I’m sorry), choose another respected person, like your mom.
Anything that would jeopardize my marriage
This one might seem a little odd on its own. In fact, it’s not one I normally would have thought of until I heard the experience of my sister’s friend. Her husband was commuting with a woman he worked with. He had a rather long commute and thought it would be a great way to save money on gas. The hours they spent together on their commute were the beginning of the affair that ruined his marriage and broke the hearts of his wife and children.
For me, there is no amount of money that is worth the risk or losing my marriage. I would gladly pay extra money in gas (or whatever the other expenses may be) to avoid that risk. Don’t put yourself in the way of temptation in the name of saving money. Some things are worth much, much more.
Thankfully, there are many, many other effective ways to make money and save money. There’s no need to break the law, be unethical or immoral, or risk your marriage.
How About You?
- What would you never do to save money or make money?
- What shady ways to save or earn money have you heard of?
I like the idea of not allowing husband’s to ride with woman co workers😀
To pay off debt, we learned how to manage by making nourishing and healthy food from scratch; finding sales and deals for other needs; going camping for vacations or having a staycation; fixed most things ourselves; bought 2nd hand or at scratch and dent sales; reused, repurposed, refinished and rebuilt necessities. We also joined a babysitting Co-op, a community club and Neighbourhood Watch.
There are many things about dumpster diving that I can get my head around, such as finding pieces of wood that would be just what I needed, or remodeling supplies leftover by the builders of a new home, perfectly good sod to put down for a new lawn or mulch, sand or dirt and sometimes furniture that could be fixed and painted or stained. Food from a dumpster? Nope.
I also would not be interested in Road kill, thank you very much! I feel too badly for the animal!
Working opposite shifts from my hubby so we never got to see each other? Nope!
Illegal, immoral, unethical or just plain wrong? Nope!
Not seeing my boys while they went from newborn to adults? Nope!
Without family and friends, you would be very lonely! Living without wants…Yes!
I’m not opposed to dumpster diving, but it’s illegal where I live. However once I did manage to snag a carton of canned pineapple just as they were taking it out to the dumpster. The cans were dented but there was nothing else wrong with them. I asked if I could have them and they gave them to me. If food is canned, and the cans aren’t bloated and disgusting, I don’t see why you shouldn’t take them out of the dumpster!
I’m not willing to cut back on family time. I’m fine with the kids spending some time in day care; but I’m not willing to work hours that would mean I’m not there at bedtime, or that they have to spend all day, every day in day care. Of course I’m also fortunate that we are in a financial position where I can make these decisions. I know that there are plenty of families out there that aren’t in that position; and I want to make it perfectly clear I’m saying this without judgement – My kids have been in day care; they enjoy day care; I don’t think it hurt them the teeniest bit.
I’m all for avoiding temptation; but I also think that there are plenty of married men and women who wouldn’t be tempted by a long commute – chances are, the man you are acquainted with was not terribly devoted to his marriage in the first place. I have a good friend whose husband cheated on her with the babysitter. His heart was never in the marriage; he was certainly never devoted to his wife or child, the way they deserved to have someone devoted to them. It’s rough for your friend now; but tell her to get a good divorce lawyer, and in 5 years she’ll probably be counting her blessings. She deserves to have a man who is worthy of her!
I have spent more time working with women than carpooling could offer me, yet I have always kept in mind that marriage is sacred grounds, so I tell myself: no touching, and keep a warm attitude so that the work environment is always pleasant.
Being tolerant, specially in the beginning, helps, since many people have displays of affection that are not exclusive of an intimate relationship. I always make clear to co-workers of what is, or is not acceptable for me, and why.
I would also say that speaking about the issues can get people aware of the potential hazards.
Also, a co-worker that does not attract the carpooling co-worker should pose no risk to any relationship.
A long commute is always risky, but anything less than a 25 minute drive should be consider safe for me.
I am 47 years old, my recent jobs are not in the carpooling category, but when I had to drive for long periods of time with a female, I always considered her peace of mind.
When I was in my 20’s most of my co-workers that I had were female, yet their marital status was not an issue. They simply were co-workers, and at least for me, off the consideration list for mating.
The issue of sexual harrassment was very popular back in the 90’s, and a defensive attitude was needed in order to prevent accusations like that, and also, to protect the environment that is needed to be able to make a living, and protect one’s intimate partner
I have never been married, yet I have always worked with married people, and I think that the kind of environment that is the healthiest for all, is one where everyone can comfortably work and be able to grow.
For money–I would never use cloth diapers! Haha just kidding. Kind of. Lots of friends and family use them and I know it makes sense financially and environmentally I just can’t imagine living in a poopier world than I already live in with my little guy! What made you decide to use them?
We have turned down promotions (me) and job offers that could almost double a salary (the mister) because it would mean working crazy long hours, traveling, or living far from family. It’s important that our kids have us in their lives, have a parent home most of the time, and have relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. No money or prestige is worth trading that when we already live comfortably.
I agree with this list on so many levels! I think this sets you apart from many bloggers in the sense that you are paying off your debt to build a future for your family, not just reach a level of wealth. I can’t imagine striving for a goal at the peril of your character because there will be nothing left besides an empty achievement at the end.
The other thing that is big for me is I wouldn’t risk my health. Even in the debt pay off process I made sure to eat a healthy balanced diet, exercise, and go to regular doctors checkups for preventative care. I sought cheap ways to do these things like running outside for free, home gardening or food coops, and asking for discounts for health checkups but I still made sure to do them because if you’re unable to enjoy the prize at the end due to poor health I don’t see the point.
Oooo! Health is a good one Judi! Thanks for adding that in!
Those all seem like such common sense things, but people never surprise me. My husband has commuted for 20 years and he’s carpooled but NEVER with a woman. That’s just a line he wouldn’t cross, nor would I be okay with it. How very sad for that family 🙁 We’ve got to do the things that protect our marriages from the possibilities of destroying it. I won’t do those sites that you get paid for surveys any more. They’re not worth the waste of time. My time is worth much more than they pay.
I know! It’s so sad. I’m glad you guys have the same standard with protecting your marriage.
And I’ve found the same thing with surveys. I would get so frustrated because there are so many prequalification questions that just wasted my time because I never qualified.