When money is tight, we often give the least to those who mean the most. Instead of forgoing neighbor gifts or teacher gifts, we decide not to do anything special for our spouse. Sometimes the stress of thinking of another gift causes us to enter into a gift-giving truce with our husband or wife.
Here are some strategies to save on spouse gifts, while still giving thoughtful and meaningful gifts.
Focus on Needs
When finances are tight, we often avoid buying things for ourselves even when they would normally be justifiable needs. Chances are, if money is tight, both you and your spouse have legitimate needs that are going unmet.
If you have a little bit of money set aside for Christmas gifts for each other, focus on things that your spouse really needs instead of spending it on frivolous niceties.
Make Something for Each Other
If you enjoy a good challenge, setting a “handmade challenge” for Christmas gifts might be totally up your alley.
Even if you aren’t crafty, a thoughtful love letter, a creative book of the top ten things you love about your spouse, or a compilation of favorite photos or memories is something anyone can do. You’ll find that handmade gifts from the heart will mean much more than any gift you could have bought.
Give the Gift of Time
Most of us are spread so thin these days that the people who mean the most sometimes get very little of our time. The gift of time, especially when it’s scarce, is more valuable than what you could buy in the store on any budget.
Remember when you were a kid and you made coupons for mother’s day that your mom could redeem for breakfast in bed, mowing the lawn, or a big hug? Why not do the same for your spouse? You can get creative and make it fun, thoughtful, and personal.
How About You?
- Do you and your spouse give each other gifts?
- Do you have a price limit or rules about spouse gifts?
Originally published 17 Dec 2014, but updated to be included in the Frugal Festivities series.
Next in the series:
Day 14: Frugal Gifts for Your Grandchildren (that don’t cost much)
I always focus on buying things that people actually need first, instead of want.
LOVED this post! So fun to read. Thanks for sharing. It’s funny, but in our house, my husband does all the mending…since he’s a pediatrician, he doesn’t need to stitch kids up too often (he uses the medical “glue” as often as possible as it’s painless) as they usually don’t think to go to the office (but go straight to the ER.) But every once in awhile he DOES need to stitch a baby or kiddo, so he claims this gives him good practice. He also has a favorite real-leather work bag that he’s used for YEARS and has been falling apart for a long time. He has never been able to find another one quite like it, with all the pockets and sections he uses/likes/needs. So he has spent about 5 hours mending it! He even went to Walmart and bought a replacement zipper and then watched you tube videos on how to replace a zipper…he needed to use pliers but he did it and it worked! Thought you would appreciate that story, Stephanie.
As for gifts…during the year we pretty much buy what we want/need when the want/need arises. So for Christmas, we don’t do too much, because we don’t like to buy gifts just because you’re “supposed” to or whatever. BUT…we do set a dollar amount (like 50 or 100) for Christmas and try to buy eachother a bunch of small, thoughtful gifts. It’s fun making the dollars stretch. This year I spent 1/3 of my budget for him on something that I think it super thoughtful: It’s a (used) vintage lego set he had as a kid that’s a spaceship with a guy in it. He always talks about that lego set, and how sad he is that it’s MIA and his parents no longer have it…He even found it on Ebay once and showed me (I pretended I wasn’t paying attention, but I was actually grabbing my phone and texting my friend the model number of the set because I knew I wouldn’t remember it…he thought I was blowing him off and texting, and my friend had no idea why she got a text that just had a random 4-digit number…had to explain the next day.) Well when he showed me, it was 80 dollars, so he said there is no way he would EVER spend that much on a little lego set, so he sort of forgot about it. Well I kept researching it for the next few weeks, and finally talked the guy down to giving it to me for $30. I’m still not sure if I should give it to him on Christmas, or save it for our 10th anniversary which is upcoming…And as a side not, my kids (5 and 8) know about it, and promised they could keep a (big) secret. Well, it was probably 3 MONTHS ago that it arrived and we looked at it, so I figured they forgot. Then JUST last night there was a commercial on tv and I hear my husband tell the kids, “Hey, that looks just like a lego spaceship set I had as a kid!” I see my son’s eyes light up, but I couldn’t say ANYTHING to him or it would have given it away. He casually just says out loud that it reminds him of something, and then he told his little sister he needed to talk to her in the bathroom. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relived that he didn’t spill the beans!
That’s so fun Liz! I bet he was surprised and so excited on Christmas morning. That’s pretty impressive that the kids kept the secret. I bet that made them feel pretty special to be in on the surprise!
My husband and I are also trying to get rid of some crazy debt. We decided several years ago to alternate gift giving years. One year we get each other gifts as normal. The next year we only fill each other’s stocking. The next year we choose one thing we both want and get it (for the house, something big, etc.). Then we start the cycle over. It helps a little because we know when to save more for gifts for each other and when to be more creative.
That sounds like a nice way to keep it interesting and change it up each year!
Homemade gifts are the best! My husband makes me a piece of furniture every year for Christmas: coffee table, dining room table, chairs, dressers, bedroom set, closets,etc… After 14 years of marriage, I’ve got some awesome, well made furniture in my house that will last a lifetime. What makes it even more special is that he cut and milled the wood all from our ranch. He, on the other hand, is really hard to buy for. Every year I struggle with what to get him.
That is so neat that he has the skills to make furniture! I bet it’s gorgeous. What a fabulous gift! 🙂
Gift giving changes yearly for us as well. Last year, because I was pregnant and planning to become a SAHM, I gave my husband a gift card for every month for a date night. I had accumulated the gift cards over the course of the year, but now we have the money set aside for date nights! We actually have quite a few left though, and my husband loved the idea that we could still go out – even on a single salary. This year, my husband gave me a new Pampered Chef grill pan – that I got at 60% off for hosting a party – and I’m giving him a new replacement smart phone – that he’ll pick out. It’s the thought that counts more than the expense!
One year after getting all of the boys’ Santa things out and arranged for the next morning, I went on to bed and my husband said he’d be there ‘in a little bit’. The next morning when I got up, he was just cleaning up from his Christmas gift to me: he’d stayed up all night to wallpaper the kitchen! We’d already bought the wallpaper, but had put it aside for at least a month while waiting to find the time to actually hang it. I was completely overwhelmed. I was 8 months pregnant, with our 4th son, and needed that kind of gift – believe me!
Oh Karen, I love this story! What a sweet and thoughtful surprise! That was surely a Christmas to remember! 🙂
Great ideas Stephanie!
For the past several years, we don’t buy Christmas gifts for each other but then go on a vacation in Jan/Feb and call that our “Christmas present.” This year we are doing practical things… my husband needs new pants to work-out in and I want a weekly planner, attempting to be a little more organized is my goal for 2015. I will need all the help I can get! LOL.
There’s nothing wrong with practical gifts! 🙂
My husband and I are minimalists at heart. Some people enjoy the excitement of giving extravagent gifts, and if they are able to afford to do so, I say “Go for it!”. I do not approach our style as “better than”, simply “different” than others. I know that a husband could be very hurt if he spent time, energy, thought, and expense on the perfect gift for his wife, only for her to respond with, “Why did you spend so much money?” But, with that said, we choose to go the simple route.
We give each other stockings only. We fill them with pratical and silly notions. My husband will receive a silly book, a mug, marbles, and a jerky maker this year. I might throw in some seasoning packs if there is room. Having a space limit helps keep things in check:)
The limited space of a stocking would make a fun challenge! We’ve never done that before!
Those are some great and thoughtful gifts! Since we both work so much we like to give each other the gift of time and an experience. In past years we’ve given whole weekends off where we go up to a cabin and snowshoe or cross country ski. Or even our snowshoes were a gift to ourselves so that we could find new adventures together. This year we’re going to be frugal but doing something similar and spending a weekend at a family members cabin in Jackson wy. It’s the same get away feeling without so much cost.
Those are great ideas Judi! Time spent together is wonderful, especially when it’s rare!
One of my favorite gifts from my husband is a quilt rack and shelf he made for me several years ago. I have a beautiful quilt that my grandmother made around 1960. Now my heirloom is displayed in our family room. This year, our television has died. We found a new Panasonic, 55 in for $499. We both will enjoy this gift for many years. Our old TV was from 2000 and survived three sons.
I have given him clothing, tools, Texas Ranger baseball tickets, and electronics for Christmas presents.
I love the quilt rack idea! What a thoughtful gift that goes perfect with your heirloom quilt! I love that he made it himself.
He’s going to finish the wall by the kitchen table! LOVE THAT! This is a great article and God love you guys for living in an unfinished basement. Pretty much been there, done that and I’m telling you, you won’t regret it for one minute ’cause once you’re debt is paid off, you are going to be one happy, happy, grateful family! Good job.
Thanks for the kind words Jim. I’m glad you can appreciate how cool it will be to have a finished wall in this sea of concrete. 🙂
Labours of love, what a good idea! (I let the mending pile sit too)
When budgets get tight, spouse gifts are the first things to go. Even buying for our toddler is given a low priority. we find it harder to cut back on everyone else than ourselves.
This year we each get $20 to stuff a stocking. Last year we made a jar with 52 mini-date ideas that we could do at home after the Little Miss goes to sleep. We’ve also done big needs like a mattress set the year I was pregnant, wants like our tablet, and $30 gift years. Each year it seems that we try something new.
Great ideas Emily! I like the date jar idea. We’ve never done much with stockings for each other either. That would be fun!
We’ve done several similar things: no gifts at all for each other, a shared gift (once we got a beautiful fountain for our yard), and other times we just pick out something for each other. The thing is, though, that my husband was really terrible at picking out gifts, even though he truly wanted to get me something I loved. I’m not ungrateful for things he has chosen, but when you don’t have a lot extra for ‘fun’ things, it was kind of a bummer. (As an example, one year he really and truly bought me a nose hair trimmer because he really liked his. Yeah.) My kids were having a hard time coming up with ideas for me also, mainly because of their price point. I finally thought to share with them that I have an Amazon wish list. I had just used it for myself to remember or keep links of things that I wanted or needed, books I was interested in, etc, and that if I ever had extra money, might get. They were so happy to have ideas! I also just started giving them some ideas each year. Many times things I want are very inexpensive – less costly than what they would pick out for me. The side effect of this is my husband has learned things I like and now is doing a super job of picking gifts for me on his own (without me voicing an idea or putting it on the wish list). Last year he got me a pepper grinder (not the only thing he got me :)). I love freshly ground pepper, and although the one he got me was nicer than I would have picked on my own, it was still a fairly inexpensive gift, but I loved it, and use it almost every day! I guess the point of my rambling is that I have learned that when money is tight, communication is just so helpful in getting and giving good gifts.
That is too funny about the nose hair trimmer!! That’s nice that your husband is learning (with your help) to be a good gift-giver! I got my husband a pepper grinder one year and it was a hit for him too! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sheila!
Usually the handmade gifts and gifts of time mean the most! A lot of times gifts bought from the store fade from memory but spending time together growing as a couple will only strengthen and improve your relationship while giving you strong memories too.
So true! Spending time together creating memories is something we’d never regret.
You guys are so similar to us – I’m all about small, practical gifts and noah loves to buy gadgets 🙂 He also does well on personal, handmade gifts too, though.
An idea we’ve used in the past is getting something we can enjoy together, like a small trip somewhere or a dvd series (before streaming was hip…)
So fun! I like the idea of something you can enjoy together or a trip.
We still give each other gifts. Mostly because I LOVE finding the perfect gift for everyone. I spend most of the year thinking of ideas and looking for deals. But, this year, as I was wrapping up Mr. SSC’s gifts, I thought of one more gift – and it was practically free, but I think it will be his favorite gift… So, I realized next year, maybe I should spend a little more time thinking of what to ‘give’ instead of what to ‘buy’…
That’s so fun that you thought of another great gift and that it was nearly free! 🙂 I’m kind of curious to know what it was!
I like the idea of thinking about what to GIVE instead of what to BUY.